1 - Do you and your "fursona" look alike?

We're both reheads, yes, but I lack raccoon fur.

2 - Do you and your fursona share attires

Yep, both wear a lot of loose earth tones.

3 - Do you share the same sexuality as your fursona?

Generally.

4 - If you hadn’t already made your fursona look like you, if you would to change how he/she looked like to make him/her look more like you, how would you think he/she would look like?

Cuter, damnit.

5 - Did you work hard to develop your fursona? What is the (brief) history of your fursona?

Not really, I've gone through all sorts of forms over the years, I tend to become what other people decide for me and about a year ago a friend called me a Raccoon and it stuck.

6 - Do you and your fursona share relationship status?

I... guess so?

7 - Do you find yourself jealous or upset if you get paired with someone you don’t like or your partner does?

Since this only ever happens by request, no.

8 - How would you like your character not to be used?

In anything gorey. Eww.

9 - What’s your fursona’s specialty?

Nomming on people. Stealing sandwiches. Plotting world domination.

10 - At a score of 1-10 how much are you and your fursona alike?

8

Where did you grow up: Pine Island, NY | Chester, NY | Washingtonville, NY | Albuquerque, NM

WHAT DO YOU CALL:
1. A body of water, smaller than a river, contained within relatively narrow banks?
Stream
2. The thing you push around the grocery store?
Cart
3. A metal container to carry a meal in?
Lunchbox
4. The thing that you cook bacon and eggs in?
Frying Pan (Sometimes a Skillet)
5. The piece of furniture that seats three people?
Couch
6. The device on the outside of the house that carries rain off the roof?
Gutter / Drain
7. The covered area outside a house where people sit in the evening?
Tent? Gazeebo? Is it made out canvas, wood, stone, what?
8. Carbonated, sweetened, non-alcoholic beverages?
Soda
9. A flat, round breakfast food served with syrup?
Pancake
10. A long sandwich designed to be a whole meal in itself?
Hero
11. The piece of clothing worn by men at the beach?
Shorts
12. Shoes worn for sports?
Sneakers
13. Putting a room in order?
Cleaning
14. A flying insect that glows in the dark?
Firefly
15. The little insect that curls up into a ball?
Cattepillar / Fuzzbug (Yeah, I know, weird.)
16. The children's playground equipment where one kid sits on one side and goes up while the other sits on the other side and goes down?
See-Saw, or Baby Launcher.
17. How do you eat your pizza?
Fold it up.
18. What's it called when private citizens put up signs and sell their used stuff?
Garage Sale or Yard Sale, depends on where you're sitting!
19. What's the evening meal?
Dinner
20. The thing under a house where the furnace and perhaps a rec room are?
Cave
21. What do you call the thing that you can get water out of to drink in public places?
Fountain

Sometimes you just have to sit back and soak in the fact that people aren't always what you make them out to be for yourself when you first meet them. You place trust in them, give them a piece of your heart and really allow them to share your life, then over time you start to see sides of them, see things about them that you just plain realize you don't like. It's no small secret that a friend and I recently have fallen into a field of conflict, where she's expressing seething hatred for me, to the point she wishes I was dead and gone.

The odd thing is that in a conflict, usually both sides have an issue or disagreement and a reason for wanting to be at odds. The problem here is that simply isn't the case. I don't know what I did, why we're fighting or how it came to be. I find myself getting mad and fighting back, but I don't know why I'm fighting in the first place. It's confusing, it's migraine inducing, and it just plain sucks. I really wish we could get together, talk it out and try, just try to make up, I want to be friends, not enemies, I mean, who would want to be like that?

All the same, I've felt a little disconnected from the fighting to begin with. I've had bigger concerns on my mind. I'm drifting apart from someone else whom I dearly care about, she and I aren't able to talk as much or be as close anymore due to a situation completely out of our control, or rather, due to a situation which can only be saved by some control. It still sucks, talking to her makes me happy and now it's like there's a brick wall between us, and I suck at climbing over it.

Another friend is in the hospital, he's got a low WBC right now and well, I worry, even if he might find it odd. I'm trying to give him every bit of free time I can spare right now, I really hope he'll be okay. He keeps living up to his reputation though, we've RPed as we always have, one day mismatched on the schedule, but we still got the gaming done. I'm not quite sure death with stop him from RPing.

Anyways, planning two trips so far, one in May to visit my big sister, another in September for Anime Weekend Atlanta... I think I've become loyal to a convention.

I'm kinda cruising through life right now. It's actually a good feeling, I haven't been this set on how I do things for many, many years. I get up, shower, check my messages and head to work every weekday, I've got a goal in mind, a schedule on my future, classes to plan soon and a diet / workout to follow...

So yeah, kinda just chilling, listening to music and working on any project that comes my way. I've been thinking of turning the Legends story into a novel... it'll be a nice side project / thing I do in class. (Seriously have never taken notes in my entire life, I don't learn from them, I actually seem to absorb more stuff I listen to while working then I ever do while focusing on it... is that normal?)

Well, nothing huge to report, waiting to see if a friend makes it home tonight from the hospital, nothing serious, doctors just wanted to watch him sleep for 24 hours. Well... at least I hope it's nothing serious.

Welp, I'm restarting my edumacation.

Starting in late August I'm stopping full time work at my job and reducing it to one to two days a week. I'll be taking full time courses for English Education, going for my teacher's license. I've got lodging and food all set up, and I'm currently waiting to hear back on college grants and loans (though apparently there's a large untapped amount that goes to 'adults' going back to school).

Got my car all tuned up and shipshape and cleaning up so I don't have to worry much about them. Gotta start saving up for college spending, though the only thing I need to cover now is food, gas and car insurance. I think I'm ready, more then, always regretted not being able to go to college right after high school, and now I'm on a path to start teaching, and thank god, before the age of 30.

As I lay here with sleep hanging over me, I pause and think of everything that's happened.
As I lay here and feel the haze of rest rising through me, I reflect on times long past.
I close my eyes but sleep does not take me, I find only images in my head, faces of the cast.
I rest my head and try to think of anything but those faces, but they look at me, the one who sinned.

Do I live in regret? Is it possible to ever stop looking back?
Do I sit in sorrow? Is it ever going to get better?
How do you ever forget? When will the pain ever slack?
How do I look away? Promises I can't follow to the letter.

I did wrong, I see it now, so many years after I was just a stupid kid.
I have sinned, I can never look at myself the same again.
I'm wrong and they were right, I denied every chance I got.
I just want to close the book, tell everyone I forgot.
I don't know when I can let this go, I don't know when.
I just can't shake this feeling, I can't take back everyting I did.

Can you even see me as any more?
Can you ever look at me as something?
Can you see past this rotten core?
Let me remove the sting.
Let me take back all those things.
Let me make it right.
Let me cure the bite.

I draw from all this pain and regret. I try to return to the things I could never get.
Who I was, where I was going, that's all gone now, there's nothing more for me to say.
I just wanted the chance, I wanted to mend all those wrongs, let myself forget.
I'm just asking you for one more time, one more chance, please don't go, please stay.

Can you even see me as any more?
Can you ever look at me as something?
Can you see past this rotten core?
Let me remove the sting.
Let me take back all those things.
Let me make it right.
Let me cure the bite.

Do I live in regret? Is it possible to ever stop looking back?
Do I sit in sorrow? Is it ever going to get better?
How do you ever forget? When will the pain ever slack?
How do I look away? Promises I can't follow to the letter.

I won't take it anymore. I can't live with all this weight on my shoulders.
I'm telling you what I'm going to do, I'm laying down my oaths right here.
I'm rebuilding my life, I'm taking things one step at a time, I'm the clay, you're the molders.
I'll let you shape me, and I will never look back, one day I'm going to hear you cheer.

I'm changing my life, I'm moving onwards, I am who I am and that's the fact.
I won't be who people want me to be, I'll be who I can, and who I want, I won't question it.
So look at me one last time, it's now that I'm moving forward, I've made my pact.
This candle's flame might be going out, but for one last time, it'll shine like it's newly lit.

Can you even see me as any more?
Can you ever look at me as something?
Can you see past this rotten core?
Let me remove the sting.
Let me take back all those things.
Let me make it right.
Let me cure the bite.

Please, let me cure these wounds. Let me set things right.

Just listing my VC list, needed a bit of an update!






NES
Super Mario Bros. 3
Legend of Zelda
Metroid
Star Tropics
Star Tropics 2: Zoda's Revenge
Mega Man
Mega Man 2
Mega Man 3
River City Ransom

SNES
Legend of Zelda: Link to the Past
Super Metroid
Super Mario World
Breath of Fire II
Super Mario RPG
Secret of Mana
Legend of the Mystical Ninja

Genesis
Shining Force
Shining Force 2
Earthworm Jim
Beyond Oasis

Neo-Geo
Samurai Showdown

N64
Star Fox 64

WiiWare
My Life As King
Pokemon Ranch
Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People Part 1
Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People Part 2
Mega Man 9

I don't know if anyone's been keeping up, but season two is out and it's been going strong. Felicia Day signed the series up on a deal with Microsoft, so it's available free over XBox Live, Zune, and MSN Video, so check it out, you're missing a great show!

Every actor on this show does an amazing job with their characters, the show is well paced and the juicy little 5-6 minute slots are a pleasure to watch, fill short moments, and work really well. I like the way the plot's moving and the whole view of a guild through the players rather then their toons takes things to another level that I really enjoy seeing.

So if you've got a few minutes, go check out the first episode, in whichever venue is available to you. Enjoy!

I know I haven't posted in a few days, the weekend was... well, an emotional shakeup for me and I'm just starting to get better from it. I won't get into details, I'm not showcasing the drama between me and someone else, we can deal with it with any hopes. Otherwise, it hasn't been too bad, the RPing this week has been excellent, it's my first week back on the full schedule and I'm perhaps OVER excited for each session right now. Angela's come back in the Erevis game, and the team is currently in conflict with her soul as they try to sort out the mess that is Sammael and Angela. Meanwhile in the Reality team, we're in a Persona like reality and it's a load of fun. That's the other thing, I'm really liking Jennifer Carmichael as a character, she's what I wanna call me Seraphna 2.0, my main character I easily get into playing and enjoy terribly. A lot less baggage attached to her too.

Angela coming back, or at least the possibility, launches many questions in my mind. See, I sorta think of  her like Spike from Buffy / Angel. She wasn't the most popular person, but her death in a way elevated her a bit in people's eyes. She went down in a blaze of glory for the one she loved. It's really hard to top that and coming back after death is kinda... well it sets the bar a little high. Moreover, from the one episode she's been in so far, I'm reminded just how much people walked all over her as a character. Constantly people used the past and actions she can't ever take back as a sort of excuse to mistreat her. Because Angela isn't the sort to really have a backbone, she's always taken it, but really, what's it take to have a backbone? 

To me it's tenacity, a will to do and get what you want no matter the consequences. Angela's death showed she's got it inside her somewhere, so if she's really back to stay, I think I'm gonna let it work itself out.

There are a lot of lies, misconceptions, half truths, and completely WRONG statements out there to make people think many different things about the anime industry. Thanks to your self labeled Weeaboo, Otaku, Fanboys, Moe Fans, whatever you want to call them, information tends to get passed on ear to ear, and much like a badly played phone game, that information gets horribly twisted.

Recently I started looking over the anime discussions over at the Screwattack forums, and I saw so many different perspectives, I was inspired to make a post.

Let's address a few of them.

( So let's go into the 5 biggest ones I can find... )

I'm a morphic fur, I like to change my shape, I've taken many forms over the years, here's a quick collection:

Fox - First form ever, I was really introduced to this when I first started hanging out with the TSA circle. I sometimes go back to being a Vix, seems to compliment the redhead in me. I've also taken a Pokeform as a Ninetails, this fits under the foxy persona.

Cat - Many times over have I slipped into the role of a kitten, to the point that some of my friends don't know how to call me anything other then a kitten. XD I was Neko on the net for a long time, and even that nickname sticks to this day. *eyes Kit*

Dragoness - Another long used form, my days as FireMyst were known well in many furry type circles. (Not to be confused with Esper's FireMyst). But more fondly I remember my platinum, or rainbow form I took under for several RPs, the ever shifting dragoness still lives on even today, when the stories call for it.

Cabbit - Hey, this blog is themed by it, my time in WCRadio was characterized by being a cabbit. I love the cabbit form, it's my most playful side. Mix a Kitten and a Bunny and what do yah get? This lovable fluff. n.n

Raccoon - A new form, but one that seems to be popular. I actually never chose this form, Scott DeWitt randomly tagged me as one about a year ago or so, I kinda embraced it.

So yeah, I'm a fur.

Slept better last night... made it out to the daylight... at least it didn't end in pain, I can never sleep after the pain. Though for some reason the following dream left me grinding my foot into my mattress, apparently for hours since it's bright red on one side and aching like hell. How I even got in a position to do that and not wake up is beyond me.

Anyways, moving on, since despite my foot I actually slept decently and don't feel like a zombie today...

Prepping for RP this week, I'm missing my Wednesday game due to a company party I have to attend, but Thursday, if I've been keeping correct track, is the first of 5 episodes I've written and will be GMing. I can't state too much since I know some of those in the game actually read my blog, but... OBJECTION! is the title. We're reality hopping, so I figured I'd have a little fun in one of my favorite game worlds.

I'll provide the log to this session after it's done on here, since I already know some people will want to see this one just by concept alone.

I'm caught up on my Tsubasa, Death Note, and Third DVDs, and I've got Air and Kanon are in my queue, I watch too much goddamned Anime but I want moooooore. ;.;

Anyways, mind wandering... butterfly!

I normally don't talk too openly about this, but it's getting too strong for me to ignore, too much to talk about before I eventually snap and lose it, I can't take it anymore.

I'm a Dreamer.

I don't know if anyone understands the significance of that statement, so I will try to explain it as best as possible. In Wiccan religions, it's sometimes called a seers gift, the ability to walk and control dreams, to always remember them with great clarity, and with effort, crawl into the dreams of others, gain insight into their subconscious.

In many other religions and customs it's held as many things, even Christianity holds it up as a "saintly gift" alongside Tounges and Empathy. Well, it's not bragging or anything, but I've sorta had this since I was little. I established a guide when I was only 6 years old, long before I even had a proper concept of things like this, when it was just simply something I did.

In the dark, or even in the day, I see images swimming all over, around people, around things, symbols that tell me things about them and about what they are. What they come from, what they will one day see. Most of the time I never understood it, or cared much for it. But sometimes I'd let stuff I see slip, it was a quick way to get unpopular and labeled a weirdo in my school days. It's one of the reasons I'm not a very social person today.

The few I've had the privilege to share a bed with in my life, I've instinctively entered their dreams at night. I got to know them on levels I don't think even they might understand, I sometimes feel ashamed of it, even if I can't help it.

Lately... I hate the gift, I hate it more then anything else about my life. For the simple reason that anyone might hate something like this.

Nightmares.

I've had this happen several times in my life. I see... I dunno who it is, where they are, but I find myself in their place, living out some event that's strong enough to leave an impression on whatever you'd like to call dreams. Wiccan beliefs call it a dreamscape, another realm our minds crawl into when we're asleep. I'm there, and I experience every moment of it. I don't want to, I can't help it. If I wake up, I just continue from where I was the following evening, like a movie set on pause, nothing has changed, it's all waiting for me to see it.

I'm in some huge house, it's old, breaking down, some parts of it are in rubble. Somethings in there with me, I don't know what, but it's there, it's stalking me. I was with others, they... go crazy, one by one, they turn on me, try to kill me. I stop them, I... dream of killing these strangers, fighting for my life against people who look like grinning zombies.

There was even a dog who took on the same facial expression. This wicked, knowing grin, this evil, dirty look that just sends chills through my spine. I always wake in a sweat, I know I've been tossing about, sometimes violently. I don't know if it's sleep or seizure anymore.

I'm frightened. I just want this person to get out alive.

I'm never the same when I die in these dreams... I'm losing it, I know it...

I'm the Technical Administrator of VGCats
I'm the Administrator of the F@NB0Y$ Forum Community
I'm a ScrewAttack g1
I watch the posts on Scans Daily
I contribute to LOLCats

So... yeah, I belong to a lot of communities, there are others, but I'm either so far disconnected, or feel so unwanted in those areas that there's no reason to list them. This is how I burn free time, well, besides roleplaying, which eats up more then anything. I sometimes wonder what I'd do with myself if it all vanished overnight. Who I'd be, what else would fill the gap... dunno, maybe someday I'll find out.

If it weren't for your maturity none of this would have happened
If you weren't so wise beyond your years I would've been able to control myself
If it weren't for my attention you wouldn't have been successful and
If it weren't for me you would never have amounted to very much

Ooh this could be messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this

You're essentially an employee and I like you having to depend on me
You're kind of my proteige and one day you'll say you learned all you know from me
I know you depend on me like a young thing would to a guardian
I know you sexualize me like a young thing would and I think I like it

Ooh this could get messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this

what part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept?
what part of your memory is selective and tends to forget?
what with this distance it seems so obvious?

Just make sure you don't tell on me especially to members of your family
We best keep this to ourselves and not tell any members of our inner posse
I wish I could tell the world cuz you're such a pretty thing when you're done up properly
I might want to marry you one day if you watch that weight and keep your firm body

Ooh this could be messy and
Ooh I don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

So my New Years was productive. Got a lot done between all my projects, watched a few movies, and didn't sleep. Okay, well if you count napping for 2 hours before work sleep, then I guess I got SOME sleep. Just couldn't get there, kept trying and gave up, and as soon as I moved to my couch and started watching TV... I fell asleep.

<_<

Anyways, pretty awake for an insomnia night, my body might just be a little nervous going to sleep. Every night this week I either had a seizure in bed (not that bad, usually I just feel like I had a crazy dream), or I've had a nightmare, which might have been the seizing dream come to think of it. Lemme tell you something, you think you have nightmares? Mine make Silent Hill look like a trip to candy fucking mountain. They really mess me up for the evening. I guess part of being a horror / gothic fan is all the creepy stuff I put in my head.

Zune update, Microsoft worked it's mystic voodoo and fixed all of the 30 gigs without lifting a finger, somehow. So I have my tunes back. That's about it to that, except to all the iPod superiority complex victims out there, that makes 12 less hardware issues with the Zune then the iPod. And our single hardware issue fixed itself with magic. :P

As for RP... I really like how things are playing out for Jennifer Carmichael. I've never had a second character in this game that's last long or really developed, and I'm actually proud to say she's a stronger character then Sammael is, at least for the moment. I'm proud of little Jenny, and I can't wait to see what happens with her next.